Standing in the Pink Glow: The Radical Art of Becoming Who You’ve Always Been

A reflective, intimate exploration of what it truly means to stand in the Pink Glow—through sobriety, sexuality, spirituality, self-acceptance, artistry, and truth. A meditation on identity, healing, and living fully seen.

The Questions That Won’t Leave Me Alone

What does it actually mean to stand in your truth?

And even more curiously… what does it mean to stand in your Pink Glow?

Is it confidence?

Is it rebellion?

Is it softness?

Is it sensuality?

Is it simply the moment you stop explaining yourself?

Because for me, the Pink Glow was never about a color.

It was about a decision.

A decision to stop abandoning myself.

A decision to stop shrinking.

A decision to stop negotiating with shame.

Growing Up Where Silence Was Safer Than Honesty

What happens when you’re born sensitive in a world that worships toughness?

What happens when you’re queer in a culture that only makes room for one kind of story?

What happens when faith is taught through fear instead of love?

I grew up inside Christian nationalism.

Rules were sacred.

Obedience was currency.

Difference was dangerous.

So I learned to edit myself early.

I learned which parts were “acceptable.”

I learned which parts were better kept invisible.

And I learned, very quickly, that survival often looked like performance.

But doesn’t performing eventually become exhausting?

Doesn’t hiding slowly turn into self-erasure?

When Numbing Becomes a Full-Time Job

Addiction didn’t arrive loudly.

It arrived quietly.

Disguised as coping.

Disguised as escape.

Disguised as relief.

Until it wasn’t relief anymore.

Until it was a cage.

Walking through the doors of the Betty Ford Center was one of the most terrifying things I’ve ever done.

It was also one of the most honest.

Sobriety didn’t just remove substances.

It stripped illusions.

It asked questions I could no longer avoid:

Who are you without numbing?

Who are you without distraction?

Who are you without performance?

The answers were messy.

And real.

And mine.

The Pink Glow Isn’t Polite

Some people think pink means delicate.

I think pink means powerful.

Pink is the color of flesh.

Of heat.

Of blood.

Of arousal.

Of vulnerability.

Of courage.

The Pink Glow is what happens when masculinity stops posturing.

When sensuality stops apologizing.

When softness stops asking permission.

Standing in the Pink Glow means I claim all of me:

The sober man.

The bodyworker who believes touch can heal.

The nudist who experiences the body as sacred, not sinful.

The sex-positive gay man who refuses to attach shame to pleasure.

The spiritual being who no longer confuses fear with God.

Isn’t it radical to love yourself out loud?

A Decade of Choosing Visibility

For ten years, I’ve had the privilege of writing my column Embrace The Pink Glow for Viva Glam Magazine.

Ten years of telling the truth.

Ten years of evolution.

Ten years of becoming.

The column became a mirror.

Sometimes it showed me who I was.

Sometimes it showed me who I was becoming.

Sometimes it showed me who I was afraid to be.

And every time, I wrote anyway.

Because visibility saved my life.

This Book Is My Offering

This book—available everywhere now—is the deepest version of that truth.

It holds my history.

My heartbreak.

My healing.

My desire.

My recovery.

My longing.

My liberation.

It holds the boy who thought he was broken.

It holds the man who realized he never was.

Sharing this book with you feels intimate.

Vulnerable.

Exposed.

It also feels necessary.

Because stories are bridges.

And I believe someone out there needs these words.

Maybe you.

Maybe the version of you who hasn’t spoken yet.

Standing Fully in Yourself

Standing in the Pink Glow doesn’t mean you have it all figured out.

It doesn’t mean you’re fearless.

It doesn’t mean you never doubt.

It means you choose honesty anyway.

It means you stop outsourcing your worth.

It means you stop asking, “Am I allowed?”

And start asking, “What feels true?”

Isn’t truth the sexiest thing there is?

My Invitation

If you’ve ever been told you’re too much…

If you’ve ever been told you’re not enough…

If you’ve ever felt split between who you are and who you’re “supposed” to be…

You’re not alone.

You’re not defective.

You’re not late.

You’re not broken.

Your Pink Glow has been with you the whole time.

Waiting.

Patient.

Steady.

Maybe standing in it isn’t about becoming someone new.

Maybe it’s about finally coming home.

And maybe…

Just maybe…

You were always meant to Embrace The Pink Glow.

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